A designer/artist stuck inside the body of a daydreamer. She shamelessly tags herself as the girl who eats a lot but never gets fat. She likes bands and shoes. And pizza.
☑ Celebrate my birthday with snail mails from people ;)
☑ Watch "The Vow" with a friend/s on Valentine's Day. And not cry.
☐ Graduate with honors on July 7, 2012.
☐ Work. And love my work.
☐ Have my heart healed.
☑ Either have very long hair or very short hair.
☐ Get to ride a plane.
☐ Treat my parents for their wedding anniversary.
☐ Have teal dip-dyed hair.
☑ See We Are The In Crowd live.
#love #I'm sorry but this is just so true #my creys #:( #Jul
Not that I want you back any time soon (or maybe I do), but I really do miss you. I wish to at least have a lunch out with you, you know. Ask you about things and probably (finally) get your birthday present for me (cuz you told me you have a gift for me lol). Know how you are, what you’re currently doing with your life. Who you’re crushing on at the moment, and what you feel about her. Probably ask you if you’re ready to fall in love. Again. With someone else, of course. Probably ask you what you feel about me at the moment. And then I’ll probably get hurt deep inside, but show you how happy I am for you. Of course, I’m happy for you. I want nothing but the best for you. I always wanted you to be happy, even if I’m not the reason for it. I miss you, and I wish I could tell you how much I do.
The worst isn’t when you are in love with someone who doesn’t love you back. The worst is when you are in love with someone who used to love you.
— (via eletheowl)
At first, I felt sooooooo nervous, breathing was the hardest thing to do for me during that time. I got to the coffee shop earlier than him, so while I was waiting, I just can’t stay put. I was tweeting incessantly about how nervous I was feeling (but I eventually deleted those tweets because I didn’t want him to see those when he gets online haha). When he arrived, I felt even more nervous plus the feeling of awkwardness and kilig at the same time (I felt kilig cuz I didn’t see him for a month! Hehe). There was dead silence for about 15 minutes because no one dared to talk hahaha. As time passed, the nervousness kinda subsided and I felt comfortable. His laughs made me feel like I should loosen up a bit too. But yeah during the serious conversation I can feel the pain inside. I was stopping myself from crying because it was a non-private place. That pain stayed inside me until I got home, where I finally poured out all the tears in my system.
Okay I talk a lot again.
27/366
Okay, I can’t help but continue what I was blogging earlier. So we talked in Cafe Noriter, where I had my lunch too. I won’t go into the details but for the sake of blogging and making myself remember what happened on the 27th of January this year, I’ll share some bits of what happened.
Hmmm, let’s see. (I’m seriously thinking right now)…well basically it’s just the say-it-to-my-face version of our online conversations during the past few days. Nothing really added up to my knowledge, except for the fact that he shared “the other side of the story”. He told me some of the things that I wasn’t seeing online, a.k.a. Things Jul Secretly Do. It made me kilig in a way, but I don’t really want to dwell much on that cuz it just makes me hope for something else.
Also, the talk wasn’t very emotional, for he was laughing during our conversation, I don’t know why (add it to the not-very-private feel of the place). There are times when he’d just laugh and then I’ll ask why he’s laughing and he won’t say why. I didn’t find it rude though, so I kinda laughed with him too. Crazy creatures.
Actually, I was more emotional on the way home ‘cause before riding the LRT, we parted ways (even if we were heading to the same place). I felt the loneliness at that time, I needed to wear my sunglasses just so people won’t see that I’m crying. I went straight to the van terminal and was secretly waiting for him to show up, but almost 5 minutes have passed but he still didn’t arrive. But then, a few seconds before the van I was going to ride on arrived, he came. I was missing him so much so I invited him to make singit in the queue of people. So yeah, we ended up going home together. It was happy and sad at the same time - happy, because I got to be beside him and got the chance to look at his face again; sad, because as much as I wanted to hold his hand, I can’t.
He offered me his take-out McDo meal; at first, I declined…but I really wanted to eat fries so I stole a piece of French fries from him. That is all. I was just quiet during the whole trip home. After alighting the vehicle, we had to cross the road. I felt the highschool kilig when he held my arms while crossing……… anyway. So yeah I bid goodbye but then, he hugged me. I can’t help but hug him back. Actually, I think I hugged him tighter and longer than what he expected. Anyway, I didn’t regret anything. I knew it might be the last time so I had to grab the opportunity. And then he said “Mamimiss kita”. That. Just. Triggered. All. The. Tears. In. My. System. To. Come. Out. /dead
P.S. Notice that black thing at the upper right part of the photo? That’s his foot. K.
